I am Switzerland…

To the guy who stated ‘I think ADHD is bull****’ on an acquaintance’s post:

You made me pause and reflect today. I was going to comment on someone’s post about her son being diagnosed ADHD.

But Yours was the first comment and it had triggered a series of negative posts about the ‘supposed‘ ailment.

Unless you: a) have a doctorate degree in pediatrics or psychology or the like, b) have done extensive research on the topic, c) have spent a few days (with and without meds) with my son or others with the ‘supposed‘ ailment, or d) live under a rock and just spew nonsense for no reason (which I highly suspect is the case), then STFU and let people do their own research and decide on things themselves without spreading untruths!

To my acquaintance: I’ve been there. I am there. I live there every day. I did a ton of research. I tried alternative therapies. I got a trusted doctor. I decided to try meds. I was amazed at the brilliance that was able to shine through. Has it been easy? No. Are meds the answer to everything or right for everyone? Certainly not. No, there isn’t a black and white test. There are many levels and layers to this ailment but as a parent the important thing is ensuring your children are equipped to make it in the world.

I am disgusted by the poison that promulgates across social media that has been spewed from obviously ignorant backwoods thinking.

I chose not to comment on the post directly. As my brother-in-law pointed out once, I am Switzerland. But even Switzerland has the right to publish an opinionated editorial without directly offending the parties involved!

That is all.

Feeding the Need for Speed (pun intended)

Eighteen months ago, TMan was diagnosed with ADHD and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). He had a difficult year in kindergarten and was struggling in first grade when we had him tested. He just couldn’t sit still and seemed to need constant stimulation – rocking, chewing on things, crumbling papers, etc. It’s like one of those old wind up toys that’s been overwound and it ends up on its side with its legs twitching…

We did some therapy for a while and it helped teach us how to soothe him and provide some things to feed that need for stimulation in the classroom. But his grades and behavior were still falling short. Our doctor has a lot of experience (personal and professional) with ADD/ADHD and suggested we try medicine. We did some research and decided to go for it. He put TMan on a very low dose extended release pill that only lasts 8-10 hours and then it’s out of the system.

We could see the difference immediately. Not zombie or anything like that. It was the same little boy with a great sense of humor and smile, he was just able to focus on things for a change. He could sit with you and work on a project and there wasn’t this constant frenetic energy pulsating and poring from his pores. And the kid who was barely passing and getting terrible grades started excelling in class. His reading score shot past his grade level and a few months later he tested for gifted and talented. The same kid the teacher wanted to hold back in kindergarten because he couldn’t sit still for her to test him properly! Bah!

Now, 18 months later, TMan is still in gifted and talented – in 2nd grade he is reading at a fourth grade level and has recently become enthralled with chess! He constantly amazes me with what his little mind comes up with.

Over the months we have had to tweak his meds, gradually increasing the dosage as it stops working as effectively. Our doctor assures us this is very common as the body begins to get ‘used’ to the stimulation the meds provide.

The last month has been a struggle. TMan is getting more and more marks at school, and mornings and evenings are difficult. Getting him dressed in the morning takes at least 30 minutes with constant redirection – he will stand there with a sock in his hand and start to put it on, see something, have to tell you about it, twirl around, set the sock down, start to walk away and then look at you blankly when you remind him to put the sock on. It’s exhausting. Most days, by the time I drop them off for the bus I am already frazzled and ready for a nap.

Fast forward 8-10 hours. Meds are wearing off rapidly. Dinner becomes an effort (on my part) to ignore the constant rocking, twisting in his chair and drumming of his utensils. Homework is a battle to move along – he does ok on the math since it’s so easy for him, but he hates writing so spelling is a fight every night! Many kids with ADHD have terrible handwriting and TMan fits that category – it’s almost illegible, but making him rewrite things when he can barely sit still to focus on them in the first place is impossible! So evenings are as difficult as the mornings are. We have to constantly remind ourselves not to get too angry with him, but try to figure out ways to get him to do what we need but still feed his need for ‘speed’. (Very bad pun, I’ll admit!)

So tomorrow TMan starts a totally new med. ugh. He reached the highest dose on the one he was taking so doc prescribed a different med. I know he needs a change but I hate trying something different. What if it doesn’t work? What if he has a weird reaction? What if it zombies him out? Bleh!

Praying that it helps him focus better during school. It’s very hard to tell him to ‘try harder’ to not get behavior marks when I know he tries hard everyday. He doesn’t want to get in trouble, and it effects his self-esteem greatly, which I won’t tolerate.

So here’s to hoping the new meds are just the ticket for TMan to finish out the second grade smoothly!

My son the Motor-Mouth

ummm...do you see the trend?

Kindergarten Woes

Ok – so when I was in kindergarten (back in the olden days) we had half-day kindergarten.  You either went in the morning or in the afternoon.  Afternoon in my case as my mother didn’t like getting up so early to meet the 8am start (no wonder I’m not a morning person…hmm…)

So we went for like 3 hours top, we played in centers and listened to stories, had naps and snacks and then were picked up. And for the most part I think those my age did great – most graduated, went to college have good jobs, etc.  And I haven’t ever had someone marvel about how I managed to make something of myself having only attended half-day kindergarten – egad!

Fast forward 2030-something years…kindergarten is now all day. Not just all day, but all day with no snacks and no naps.  Let me repeat myself – 5-year olds, 8am to 3pm, no snacks (not counting lunch) and no naps. They have a very structured day planned out every day. Saxon math, Saxon reading, writing, PE, music, computers, art and squeeze in a 20 minute recess after lunch. By the end of the school year they have to know basic reading skills, be able to count to 100, basic addition, and pass various other ‘goals’.

WOW!  I remember each week we got to go search for one of The Letter People hiding somewhere in the school on Monday and that was the letter we learned all week!  Remember Miss A who sneezed a lot? A-A-Choo!

Now, I understand that the requirements for schools have gotten outrageous with all the tests (I’m in Texas so TAKS testing is front & center), but man…can’t we bring back The Letter People?

Just a bit frustrated…my strong-willed, high-spririted, 5-year old son, T-Man started kindergarten this year.  We knew he would have an adjustment…and even his pediatrician said at his 5-yr visit that he thought he would do great “as long as he gets a patient teacher”…hmmm…

So we are on our 11th day of school today.  To date, T-Man has received 1 stamp for good behavior all day. His folder has been blank on 2 occasions, and he has gotten marks for conduct (sometimes multiple marks) on the remaining days.  And as a coup de gras, today, the 11th day of school – he was sent to the Principal’s office. (Although he argued vehemently that technically, since the Principal was in the cafeteria, he never actually got sent to the office!)

His main infractions are interrupting, talking when he is not supposed to and (my personal favorite) ‘Failure to allow others to learn”. Apparently today he got in trouble 3 times (the magic number) and when the teacher told him to put his head on the desk he told her no and was promptly trotted off to talk to the Principal.

Most of the traits that are keeping him in trouble are traits that I want him to have when he’s in his teens and older.  He is opinionated, he can argue with a tree (let’s just call that stubborn), he’s also very curious and always wants to know why and how.  That includes when he is told to do something – why? is his first question – and because I said so just doesn’t work!

So tomorrow dear hubby is going to stop in and talk to the teacher in the morning and I’m going to give the guidance counselor a call…I really want him to succeed and learn to love school…

At the moment he is hating every minute of it and an experience like this could be a detriment to his eventual love for education…

Anybody have any words of wisdom?  I’m currently reading James Dobson’s “The Strong-Willed Child”, are there any other must-reads?
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So You Thought You Wanted a Puppy??

Parenting by Design – August 3 – Endurance and Patience

This devotional spoke to me today…directly…to me…like they wrote it for me.

My middle child, T-Man, is (for lack of a better word) spirited. He just turned 5 and is active, talkative, and excitable – like a new puppy. The new puppy analogy really works well with T-Man…he’s completely adorable – has a smile (or smirk) that melts – he’s so darn cute that you can’t stay mad at him, but like any puppy he gets on your nerves like crazy!

About Puppies – they run around without regard for what (or who) might be in the way; they can’t sit still for 30 seconds unless engaging in a favorite activity (eating, sleeping, playing ball); they don’t really care about being dirty or transferring that dirt to every possible surface; they bark and whine and growl until they have your attention (and they want your attention at all times); they will challenge the alpha dog over and over until their ears are raw from being nipped.

About T-Man – he runs around without regard for what (or who) might be in the way; he can’t sit still for 30 seconds unless engaging in a favorite activity (eating, sleeping, watching TV, playing video games); he doesn’t really care about being dirty or transferring dirt to every possible surface; he talks until he has your attention (and he wants your attention at all times); he will challenge the alpha dog (read: parents) over and over until his but is red from being whipped.

Wow – that’s amazingly similar. And most people generally don’t like being around puppies for all of the reasons listed above – they climb on the furniture, they don’t listen to commands, they spread dirt everywhere, they talk back – I’m seeing a trend here…

Let me stop right here and insert a few things about T-Man – he is one spunky fellow! He’s not mean or devious – he is incredibly inquisitive and knows how to charm a gal. He’s also very loving and tender. However people that aren’t around him much don’t see those moments – they see him come over to their house and instead of sitting nicely on the couch he immediately flips upside down with his legs hanging over the back of the couch (apparently sitting nicely in any chair is a challenge). They see him interrupt conversations or repeat himself until acknowledged because his little 5-year old mind is racing with questions and excitement and he absolutely HAS to get the words out or he’ll explode!

T-Man takes every speck of my patience and I’m the lady who carried him – so for those that don’t have that special bond, patience runs out quickly. Hence the reason we don’t go places often. We all end up frustrated to no end – T-Man because he gets constantly reprimanded, those whom we are visiting because we have brought a ‘puppy’ over, and me because it’s tiresome to apologize for your child when he’s doing what puppies, ahem – boys, do. T-Man’s the first boy on my side of the family and it’s obvious they are not ‘puppy-people’. And our quest for a church-home has, thus-far, been difficult – we need one where there are other little puppies to play with ours, where the other members understand them and help in the training rather than just scold, and where my little puppy isn’t expected to sit for an hour in the regular service on Sunday mornings. We just haven’t found the right combination yet.

I’m hopeful that with the onset of kindergarten this month T-Man will begin to get past that puppy stage. It seems like every day I have to pray for endurance and patience, not only with T-Man, but with those who see only a dirty, disobedient little mutt, rather than the playful, energetic, inquisitive puppy that he is.

Col 1:10-11 (Amplified)

10That you may walk (live and conduct yourselves) in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him and desiring to please Him in all things, bearing fruit in every good work and steadily growing and increasing in and by the knowledge of God [with fuller, deeper, and clearer insight, acquaintance, and recognition].

11[We pray] that you may be invigorated and strengthened with all power according to the might of His glory, [to exercise] every kind of endurance and patience (perseverance and forbearance) with joy

Meanwhile, we will continue to love our little man and work on his ‘training’ – I’m convinced that while he is a trial right now, his personality will only serve him well as he gets older as long as we don’t squash it and we do our best to help him blunt the rough edges and channel his energy in the right direction. We aren’t going for strict obedience training here – I mean, who ever wanted a dog who would follow a ball off the edge of a cliff simply because his master threw it? You want one who will follow it to the edge, stop, assess the situation and figure out how to get at it safely. Now if we could just get him to follow the ball at all…SQUIRRELL!